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Saturday, September 9, 2017

People have gone completely insane

It was already ten years ago that I jokingly told my ex-fiance that he had to "cut his Jew-fro."  He had let it grow out until it was much longer on the sides than on the top, giving him a sort of Bozo the Clown edge.  He didn't take to it very well, and he immediately accused me of being an anti-semite.  I demanded to know if he was serious... I pointed to my belly, which at that time was about 5 months pregnant.  I told him, "I'm not sure how much of an anti-semite I am, but I've got one Jew in the oven!" (We had often referred to my daughter being "baked" in my oven.)  He angrily informed me that that had been an "unfortunate choice of language."  I then told him that I had meant it jokingly, however he was unable to recover and forget about it, even after I had apologized multiple times.

It's interesting that I have, in my life, been told that my Sicilian maternal ancestors were the "niggers of Europe," and that my Finnish friend had told me that I was "not white, that I was Italian," and that various black people off the street have called me a "white bitch," a "white whore," and that I was able to rise above these things because as a white person and the presumed oppressor, that I was supposed to excuse all these racist comments about myself by people who had acted in far more racist manners than myself, but that it was asking too much for other people to relax a little bit about themselves.  It was obvious, my ex told me, that I was a racist because I did not advocate for affirmative action. (Yes, that was my attempt at sardonic humor.)

I couldn't help thinking about these things in light of the Google employee who was fired after he released an articulate and thoughtful statement that detailed his beliefs about why Google was having trouble hiring women and minorities.  I read through the statement myself, and did not find it in any way offensive.  On the contrary, the author went out of his way to make concessions with those who did not agree with him

Here is a block quote from his essay, which you can read here.

I value diversity and inclusion, am not denying that sexism exists, and don’t endorse using stereotypes. When addressing the gap in representation in the population, we need to look at population level differences in distributions. If we can’t have an honest discussion about this, then we can never truly solve the problem. Psychological safety is built on mutual respect and acceptance, but unfortunately our culture of shaming and misrepresentation is disrespectful and unaccepting of anyone outside its echo chamber. Despite what the public response seems to have been, I’ve gotten many personal messages from fellow Googlers expressing their gratitude for bringing up these very important issues which they agree with but would never have the courage to say or defend because of our shaming culture and the possibility of being fired. This needs to change.

Free speech should not just be for smutty novels (although these are great too, no doubt.)  Anyone who is remotely involved with the scientific community knows that it is important to be able to divorce intellectual discourse from emotion in order to be able to discover "the truth."  This is why some scientists value computer models that generate predictions, which have no emotional investments to the findings of the simulations.  If society in general is not able to delve into the real issues that surround various social issues, change will not come.

I have to say that I agreed with many of the points of the author James Damore, having had the experience in my life of being highly different from most women.  Early in life, I found that I made friends more easily with boys than with girls.  While other girls were home doing watercolor paintings and dreaming about boys and wedding dresses, I was outside in the yard climbing to the top of the tallest tree that I could find, discovering birds nests, riding my bike down steep hills as fast as I could go without a helmet, and playing 2 on 1 hoops with my brother and my dad.  Granted, I did have female friends and I did play with barbie dolls, however, the way that I played with them was very different.  As I grew older and embarked on a long journey of self discovery, I learned many things about myself, and discovered exactly why I think and behave so differently from other women.  Firstly, I discovered from online sites such as http://www.free-iqtest.net/ that my IQ hovered somewhere around 130, which would place me in roughly the top 3% of the score distribution, roughly three standard deviations above the mean.  Here is an illustration, below.

standard bell curve image

Even though I did not have parents who pressured me to succeed academically, I found it generally easy in history, language, and science classes to listen to the lectures and scan through the material, and pass most of my classes with an A or a B.  I never had any special tutoring of any kind, but I recall being able to read before I went to kindergarten (although I do not really remember learning to read, I vaguely recall my father reading a book to me when I was around 4 and feeling like I could "read" the words.)  I found that this was a trait inherited by both of my children, who began to pick out words from the books that I read them at ages three and four years old.  My children never went to any special tutoring, although I went out of my way to purchase an ipad which I allowed my children to use for one hour a day, and ONLY for educational apps for toddlers.  People were often shocked at how verbal my children were at young ages, and I recall quite a bit of hostility as well, with various individuals claiming that my children's access to expensive equipment like the ipad was responsible for their early learning.

I discovered another trait about myself later on, which coincidentally, was ALSO inherited by my children, and that was my low digit ratio.  I did read the book on digit ratio by John Manning, which led me to discover that although the average woman has a digit ratio which varies between 1.01 and .95, that my digit ratio was around .93, which was actually lower than the digit ratio of the average American man.  (Italian women, Jamaican women, and Finnish women, as well as Gypsies are populations known to have women that have lower than average digit ratios.)  Without going into a complete explanation of digit ratios, it is known that those individuals with lower ratios (and therefore more androgen exposure in the intra-uterine environment) are likely to be more athletic, better at measures of analytical reasoning ability, such as math, and more musical.  Having a low digit ratio is a double edged sword, because although it appears to be related to all of these gifts and talents, it is also related to higher incidences of certain diseases and mental health issues.  I found that my children had inherited my exact digit ratio, along with some other personality traits, including my persistence, inquisitiveness, and verbal abilities.

I wondered if my low digit ratio was partly responsible for my exceptional independence, propensity to drive quickly on the highway, and my athleticism.  When a pipe burst in my apartment and I subsequently got mold even after running my dehumidifier full blast, I removed, replaced, and re-plastered my own wall (after the pipe was fixed, of course.)  When I needed a fridge in a make-shift kitchen that I designed, I rented a large truck, drove it to Home Depot, and unloaded the fridge completely independently with the help only of a hand truck and some rope.  In addition, I built my own garden staircase after my father showed me how to complete the first landing.  Here is a photo of the garden staircase that I designed and built myself using salvage garden timber, rebar, and cinder block.   Building this staircase entailed carrying 40-60 pound pieces of timber, drilling holes, and hammering rebar into the ground using a large heavy mallet, in addition to leveling with a skeed and tamping the ground.  I recently taught myself how to change outdated electrical outlets by watching two or three videos on YouTube and having a friend who is handy show me a live demonstration ONCE.  Of all the outlets that I changed, 9 of 11 worked the first time.

I did these things partly out of a desire to save some money, but mostly as a way to challenge myself to learn new skills.  I was actually excited to take on these projects!  Throughout my life, I have not known other women who find it easy to take on these tasks.  I have not known other women who find it easy to plan something and get it done without needing to consult two or three other people and enlist others to help them.  It was only later in my life, as an adult, that I met women who I felt shared my world view and my ways of approaching and dealing with problems and interpersonal relationships.

Ironically, while feminists all over the USA are claiming that they want to promote visibility of "strong, independent women," in reality, when most women meet one of these women, they like to deride her as "manly" or  "male identified" in order to cut her down.  They don't like the way she dresses, her direct manner in conversation, or her "confrontational" style.  What a large majority of average women truly relate to and identify with is sort of a high maintenance type who likes to shop, gossip, and whose entire world revolves around catching a man a la "Sex in the City." Ironically, these same women who walk around wearing ostentatious pink vagina caps are the first ones to sling mud at the women who don't fit into the neat little vagina mold that they feel is representative of woman-kind.  I am a COMPLETE WOMAN.  My vagina is only one small part of who I am.

Ironically, throughout most of my life, although I am not "gay," and even though quite a few men have literally thrown themselves at me in the most embarrassing of ways (for them,) the reality is that I am not really interested in most men.  Even now, in my late 30s, I find myself having to fend off men in their late or even early 20s, who pressure me to go out with them, and might be quite good looking, but who have no idea how to engage me intellectually.  I have realized that because of the fact that I want a partner who is at least as intelligent as I am, who will also respect my political views and independence, and who I also have great chemistry with, that the likelihood of finding someone who meets all of these modest few criteria is exceedingly small.

All these musings and self reflections were simply a circuitous method of arriving at my main point, which is an incredibly dirty idea:  We are all equal UNDER THE LAW, but we were not all born with equal talents and abilities.  We all have the same inherent rights BY LAW, but this does not mean that our life circumstances and situations will be equal.  Privately funded programs which aim to educate and give opportunities to lesser represented groups are great, and I do personally believe that there are women, blacks, and hispanics who would succeed in the sciences and tech industries if they both recognized these professions as an option AND had the interest and the drive to put themselves through the training process required to reach a certain level of competency.  Every effort should be made to make sure that the workplace environment is comfortable for ALL employees, including men, who are occasionally the target of harassment as well.  However, simply deciding arbitrarily that underrepresentation of certain groups is solely due to discriminatory hiring practices and cultural collusion to keep certain groups down is counterproductive for business, and it does nothing to shed light on other reasons why certain groups may be under represented.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Porn Star Politics

I went out on a date recently with a nice guy who was a little bit clueless about politics.  The subject came up, and when I mentioned I was a politically independent and libertarian leaning, he followed up with the comment, "Oh, so you're for Bernie right?  Feel the Bern?"

ARRRRRGHHH!  As a person who keeps up with the news and is interested in public issues, I'm often astounded at the lack of political "literacy" so to speak of the average Amercian.  Equally disturbing to me although I am not a Republican is the tendency of the average New Yorker to brand all conservatives as Nazis or religious quacks without examining each person individually, as well as the trend towards cyber and personal attacks on people who make controversial statements.  The most cherished right that our founding fathers wanted to protect in our constitution is the right to self expression and freedom of speech.  I support this right, even to people who I vehemently disagree with. The most common misconceptions about libertarians is that they are basically Democrats who support gun rights.  WRONG!!! Another misconception is that libertarians are basically anarchists who want to get rid of all government. WRONG!!!  Libertarians are effectively "right of right" on the spectrum of individual liberties. I have decided to make a chart on various issues and place all the political parties on the spectrum to see how they compare.

Issue Republicans Libertarians Democrats
Taxes Lower taxes Lower taxes - local government gets bulk of taxes Raise taxes for all, especially the rich
Gun Control Pro Gun Less government regulation - therefore pro gun Favors heavy gun control laws and regulation
Socialized Healthcare Favor private enterprise Favor private enterprise and individual choice. Do NOT favor government subsidies Favor state controlled and federally subsidized funding gained from taxes
Wall Street and Business Laws that support business productivity Generally support business but prefer less government intervention Laws that support unions and workers rights, sometimes at the expense of productivity
Abortion and Assisted Suicide Against for religious reasons Favor individual choice as long as steps are taken to prevent abuse. Do NOT favor government subsidies Generally favors both but favors heavy government control and regulation. Supports subsidies
Gay marriage Against for religious reasons For individual choice and liberties - therfore Pro gay marriage. Oppose any laws that inhibit personal choice and liberties Pro GLBTQ rights in general.
Gambling Party positions vary depending upon state and tax revenues gained Support individual choice and with hold from making moral judgements Party positions vary, but generally favor casinos
Pornography and Censorship Favor censorship and control of pornography due to religious reasons Strongly ANTI-CENSORSHIP of ANY material. Libertarians believe that even sensitive material like bomb making recipies should be available to any adult Support censorship of certain materials deemed to be dangerous to the public.
Drugs and Legalizing Prostitution Against due to religious reasons Favor individual choice, legalizing and taxing drugs and prostitution to provide revenue sources for local government Against due to moral reasons, and will subsidize anti-drug and rehab campaigns
Schools and Education Favor less union control - Favor prayer and teaching religious topics in schools Favor less union control - generally prefer keeping religion out of schools Heavy support of teachers unions even at the expense of student welfare and receive heavy financial support from teachers unions

As you can see from examining the chart, Libertarians actually stand with Republicans on quite a few issues, and the main difference is that they differ on issues which have religious importance. Libertarians ALWAYS favor individual rights over government control of rights. They favor local control over major issues and are against any measures that would require heavy tax levies, and are generally against overly restrictive unionization that inhibit productivity of business. Most of the legalized marijuana business owners and brothel owners in Nevada tend to be libertarian in their politics. Those in the adult industry, although generally left leaning, would consider themselves to be libertarian with regards to censorship issues.  As you can see, with the exception of gay marriage, asisted suicide, and abortion, Libertarians side with republicans on most issues that have to do with fiscal and tax issues, as well as government style.

Demographically, most Libertarians (and Libertarian leaning independents like myself) tend to be highly educated, less concerned with religion, and tend to live closer to large urban areas.  They comprise only 3-5% of the population but can have a very pronounced influence on policy with regards to certain issues.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Forgotten Shoots

Even though I only spent a couple of years in the xxx industry, much of it is a blur to me. Until recently when I was talking with one of my kinky neighbors in Brooklyn, I had forgotten about one of my first adult shoots ever, literally a couple of days after meeting my agent who got me the job.  I was barely 21 years old and had just gotten my first apartment in Koreatown, downtown LA.  Although I had been working as a nude dancer and video chat girl for roughly 1 year, this was a completely new experience.  Earl Miller was a very well known and respected photographer, and the shoot took place at the Brewery, factory lofts in downtown LA.  Unlike most adult shoots, which tend to be smaller scale with few crew except for maybe a lighting assistant and make-up artist, there were lots of crew for this shoot.  Several lighting assistants, a makeup artist, and even a wardrobe assistant whose sole job was to adjust the wardrobe after each change in position during the shoot.  Here are a couple of shots... I am one of the masked girls in the background.  Every once in awhile a memory comes up of something like this, and I'll think to myself... "how could I have forgotten about this?"  I guess I didn't really forget... it's just that I don't think about it often.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Gia in "Crazy Sexy Hollywood"

I'm slowly compiling photo shoots and publications, and although these are not great shots, taken with my iphone, here are some photos of me in the pages of the photography book "Crazy Sexy Hollywood" by Carlos Batts

Cover (not Gia)

Gia Regency in Crazy Sexy Hollywood

Gia Regency in Crazy Sexy Hollywood

Gia with Co Star from "Still crazy" John T Bone Prod

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Most Common Misconceptions About Porn Stars

There are lots of misconceptions about porn stars, even among people who consider themselves "enlightened liberals."  From my experience, what it means to be an enlightened liberal is to scratch the back that donates to the proper political causes, even if this means going up against a political or social minority in favor of an affluent white male.  Here are some common misconceptions about porn stars.

Porn stars like to do everything in their personal life that they've done on film
It's really funny sometimes when you realize that a lot of porn fans think that just because someone has done something on film, that they enjoy doing that in real life.  I can say that although I've had my face slapped, been spit on, been sutured, bukkaked, anoscoped, and used vegetables as sex toys on film, I can say most definitely that I DO NOT generally do these things for pleasure. I will say that I consider what I did to be "extreme sex" in much the same way that MMA would be considered an extreme sport.  I think that I pushed my body the way a pro-athlete might have done, to accomplish feats that most individuals would not even try to undertake, for the sake of entertainment.

Most porn stars are drug addicts or substance abusers
While it's true that there are some in the adult film industry, just as there are in the mainstream film and other creative industries, who have substance abuse problems, there are plenty of adult film stars who are EXTREMELY health conscious, work out, watch what they eat, and might even be tee totallers or drink very rarely.  I can say in my case that I would be considered a "light to occasional" drinker, and that although admittedly I've tried a few things here and there, that it's been over a decade since I have used any sort of recreational drugs.

Gia Regency, Black Rock City, Nevada

Female porn stars were sexually abused
This is an unfortunate stereotype.  I can't speak for everyone, of course, but I can say that 80% or more of the female porn stars who I have met have not talked about any sexual abuse, and I can say that in my case, I was not sexually abused by anyone.  It does seem though, that porn stars often have a naturally high sex drive, have been curious about sex and kinky sex from an early age, and are more open minded and freethinking about sex than other people.

Porn stars are ineducated, and they do it because they can't make the same kind of money doing anything else.
This is another of the major falsehoods about porn stars.  From my own experience, I've found most film stars to be of average to above average intelligence, and of course, there are quite a few who put themselves through advanced college degrees working just a few days per week.  Here's an article about smart porn stars, and of course, this is by no means an exhuastive list.  In my own case, I can say that I have two college degrees, was a licensed healthcare primary care provder for five years, but gave it up to pursue real estate.

All porn stars are troubled or mentally ill.
I think this one goes around a lot, and I can say that porn stars in general are about as mentally stable as actors and musicians!  Although I do believe that adult film stars tend to be more adventurous, sensation seeking, gregarious, and emotional than other types, and that sometimes this combination of traits might also be associated with depression and other emotional issues, hat generally, they're much like other types of people.

They all have fake boobs.
Many, but not all, have had work done.  It is common that adult film stars might have had something done, such as hair extensions, and yes, breast jobs are a common one, but I know a lot of stars who have not had anything done.  I know that although several sites I have seen claim that I had a breast job, in fact, they are 100% real, as are my hair and teeth.  I did however, go to tanning salons, and get facials and mani-pedicures.Most of the photos that I have posted have only been lightly photo shopped, meaning filters, light adjustments, and zit zapping.  My photos have  not been distorted or undergone exagerrated editing.  

Porn stars have low self esteem, especially if they do humiliating things on film.
Actually, some studies have found that female adult stars actually have higher self esteem than the majority of women.  It sort of makes sense, actually.  It takes a very confident person to strip naked and get into compromising situations on film.  Women without confidence are generally skittish, avoid controversy, and are too concerned about the way they look to allow anyone to take photos of them that might be considered unflattering.  I had a good body image before doing adult films, and I can say that nowadays anything that I might have worried about pre-film days just seems sort of ridiculous.  I almost never wear a lot of makeup, and I have no problem being myself.

I can say that nowhere are there more misconceptions about adult film stars than in the intellectual capitol of the USA, and that's in NYC.  Although it does seem like sensual pleasures and intellectual pursuits are exact opposites, I assure you that they are not mutually exclusive.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

More on jealousy and other women's insecurity

Interestingly enough, when you are the porn star, other women are constantly suspecting you of being a seductress. When you go to cocktail parties, and a guy comes up and talks to you, his girlfriend immediately comes up and monitors the conversation, pulling him away at the first opportunity. Then, when you are the porn star, you can silently chuckle to yourself, thinking how you've been paid to fuck guys that were twice as hot and often twice as smart as the poor guy stuck with the insecure bitch.

Interestingly enough, when you are the porn star, even though you are percieved as the seductress it is most often the other men (and sometimes women) who are throwing themselves at you, having seen your videos and wanting a piece of you, and it is usually YOU, the pornstar, wondering why it's so difficult to find someone to have an intellectual conversation with, and someone who can think about something other than sex for a change of pace.

Interestingly enough, when you are the pornstar, everyone assumes that anyone who you hang out with is your fuck buddy, while interestingly enough, when you are a porn star, only 25% of the people you hang out with are fuck buddies, and they are usually attractive or super cool or edgy, and just as skilled in the arts of the boudoir as yourself.

Interestingly enough, oftentimes the women who are calling you a dirty slut and a whore behind your back are slutting it up in private, except that they didn't bother to ask them to get STD tests before hand or use condoms, since they assume that they and their partners are safe, since they don't do porn.

Interestingly enough, it is YOU, the porn star, who are so low maintenance that you leave the house after washing your face, putting on a little lotion, and perhaps some loose powder, scorning any makeup that is un-necessary, and manage to tossle your bedhead hair and put it in a ponytail without styling it and still look amazingly hot, yet also carry on a sophisticated conversation regarding current events and worldy topics, and manage to be the pioneer who follows your own ideas about sexual morality.

Yes... interestingly enough, it is the porn star who quite understands just what other women are threatened by, and this is exactly why she can be calm in the face of all sorts of viscious and spiteful behavior, knowing that the attacks stem from insecurity and hateful feelings. Hash Tag -- unlock the Zen.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Thanks to my friend PAN in Las Vegas for bringing it to my attention that I was Published in the Volume 3, Issue #1 publication of Fetish Bazaar! I never knew this until just recently. I have included only one photo from the back cover, since my account was suspended recently due to some of my images being "pornographic."